Shiva relates 120 ways. He won’t discuss surrender because it’s not a method.
When all methods fail, you submit. You tried hard. No door opens, and no route approaches. You’ve tried everything and felt hopeless. That total helplessness surrenders. Surrender is methodless.
Surrender—what is it?
If surrender works, why use 120 methods?
Why bother? the mind will ask. Then okay! Surrender works better. Why pursues methods? Who knows if a method suits you? Finding out may take lives. Surrendering is nice but hard. The hardest thing ever.
Self-training is simple.
No training for surrender! Asking how to surrender is ludicrous.
How to surrender? How to love?
You cannot ask how to love. You can’t love if someone tells you how. Love makes you stick to a technique.
Actors cannot love. They know so many tricks, and we’re all performers, so once you know how to love, you can fake it. Deception keeps you out. Be safe.
Love is complete vulnerability. It’s risky. Insecurity ensues. Love and submission cannot be asked. It occurs! Love, surrender. Love is surrender. If we can’t submit, we can at least realize how we’re holding ourselves back. Knowing that helps.
If you haven’t fallen in love, the problem isn’t how to love. The actual challenge is digging deep to discover how you have lived without love, and what your trick, technique, structure, and defense structure are. That makes sense.
First, we live in the ego. I’m without identity. “I am,” I say. I am not this ” Who am I to say “I”? False “I.” Ego is this illusory “I”. The defense. Prevents surrender.
You can learn about this defense tactic but not surrender. After awareness, it disappears. You stop strengthening it and realize, “I’m not.” When you realize “I am not,” you yield. See if you are. Does your “I” exist? Go deep within oneself to find the “I” and ego’s home.
Rinzai asked his master for independence. Bring yourself, the master said. I’ll liberate you. If not, how can I set you free?
“Freedom is not your freedom,” his instructor responded. Freedom is from you. To locate this “I” and you, then come to me.
Go meditate.”
Rinzai meditates for weeks or months, then returns. “I am not the body,” he explains. I only found this.” The master responds, “This much you have become free. Go again. Find out.” He meditates and realizes, “I am not my mind, because I can observe my thoughts.” I’m not my mind. “I am not my mind.” His lord says, “Now you are three-fourths liberated. Go again and discover your identity.”
“I am not my body,” he thought. Not my mind.” He was well-read and thought, “I am not my body, not my mind, so I must be my soul, my atman.” He meditated and learned that there is no atman, no soul because this atman is only your mental information—doctrines, words, philosophies.
“Now I am no more!” he shouted, running.
His master asked, “Am I know to teach your freedom methods?” “I’m free because I’m dead,” Rinzai said. No one can be bonded. I’m empty.”
Nothing is free. Being something bonds you. Bondage awaits. Only emptiness is free. No binding. “I am no more,” Rinzai ran. I cannot be found.” It’s freedom. He first touched his master’s feet! He had touched them before. “You touched my feet for the first time,” the master remarked.
Rinzai asked, “Why say the first time?” I touched your feet numerous times.” The master replied, “But you were there, so how could you touch my feet while you were already there? How can you touch my feet while I is there?” The “I” cannot touch feet. In a roundabout way, it touches its own feet. “You have touched my feet for the first time,” the master remarked. “This is also the last time,” the master added. “First and last.”
You cannot surrender because you are not.
Surrendering cannot be a technique. You prevent surrender. Surrender when you’re not. You and surrender cannot coexist. You or surrender. Discover your identity and location. This investigation yields numerous interesting findings.
Raman Maharshi said, “Inquire ‘Who am I?’” It’s misinterpreted. His closest disciples don’t get it. They think this asks, “Who am I?” No way! Keep asking “Who am I?” and you’ll discover you’re not. It’s not “Who am I?” This inquiry dissolves.
I’ve helped many ask, “Who am I?”
A month or two later, they’ll declare, “I still haven’t found ‘Who am I?'” The question remains unanswered.”
Continue, I say. Answers will come.” They expect an answer. It’s unanswerable. The question will disappear. “You are this” won’t work. Only the question disappears.
Nobody will inquire “Who am I?” You realize.
The true “I” opens when it’s not. You discover yourself when the ego is gone. It’s empty.
Then surrender. You surrender. So, there are no strategies or only negative ones like asking “Who am I?”
Surrender: how? What if you surrender? We’ll comprehend ways. We’ll study methods and how they work. They work scientifically.
Surrender makes you a valley; ego makes you a pinnacle. Ego implies superiority. That’s different. You realize your superiority. You’re impenetrable.
Surrendering makes one a valley. Depth not height. Then existence floods him. He is a limitless void. Everything pours out.
Godliness permeates him, filling him completely.
Many ways can feel this surrender, this becoming a valley, an abyss. Major and minor surrenders exist. Even small surrenders hurt. A little surrender to a master is felt quickly because the master flows through you. You absorb a master’s energy when you surrender. If you cannot sense energy flowing into you, you have not yielded even somewhat.
These modest surrenders precede total capitulation. Minor surrenders prepare you for total surrender. Once you know that surrender brings something unimaginable, inconceivable, unexpected, and undreamt of, you are ready for a major surrender. The master helps you through tiny surrenders to build courage for a grand, total surrender.
Last question: How can one tell if a technique will lead to the ultimate?
Signs will show. One, you feel a new identity. You changed. If the technique works, you change immediately. Husbands change. Shopkeepers are always changing. If the technique works for you, you’re different. If you start to feel uncomfortable about yourself, something is happening. You’re fine if you’re unaffected. This determines if a technique works for you. If it fits, you instantly change. Your worldview changes suddenly. The eyes are the same, but the viewer is distinct.
Second, tensions and confrontations decrease. The strategy does not reduce conflicts, fears, or tensions after years of practice. The procedure works immediately. Unburdening yourself brings aliveness. If the method works for you, gravity will reverse. Earth no longer pulls you down. The sky lifts you. Do you like airplane takeoffs? Disarray reigns.
Gravity disappears with a jerk. Gravity no longer pulls you.
If you like meditation, you get the same jerk.
You suddenly fly. Gravity disappears and the earth becomes meaningless. It’s lifting you. “Grace” is a religious phrase.
Grace and gravity. Grace pulls upwards, gravity pulls below.
Meditation makes many feels weightless. Thus, many experience inner levitation. Many have told me, “This is strange!” We close our eyes and feel one, two, or four feet above the ground.
When we close our eyes, we levitate. Then what? Our eyes open on the ground! Never levitated.”
You levitate while your body stays on the ground. Levitation comes from above. The technique pulls you upward if it fits. The procedure makes you available to be pulled up. If it fits, you are weightless.
Thirdly, whatever you do today, however minor will be different. Walk, sit, and eat differently. Everything changes. This is noticeable everywhere. Being different sometimes frightens me. Because one was so attuned to the old, one wishes to return to the same. You were efficient in a mundane environment.
You’ll notice gaps everywhere. Efficiency will suffer. Utility will decrease. You’ll feel like an outsider everywhere. One must endure this. You’ll reconnect. You changed, not the world. Third, when the technique fits you, you won’t fit into the world. Unfitness awaits. Everywhere are loose, missing bolts.
Earthquakes are felt everywhere. Only you have changed. However, you will attune again on a higher plane.
The disturbance is like a child becoming sexually mature. Every boy feels odd at 14–15. Sex enters. It was hidden or never there. He’s now open to a new force. Boys and females are uneasy when sexually mature. They’re nowhere. They are neither children nor men, therefore they fit nowhere. Men feel awkward playing with tiny children. As children, they feel awkward establishing male friends. They fit nobody.
Fitting a technique is similar. sex-plus energy becomes available. You’re transitory again. You don’t belong here anymore. One feels uneasy between being a child and a saint.
Three things will appear if a technique fits you. These words may have surprised you. I’m suggesting you’ll become more disturbed, not quieter. The strategy will upset you, not silence you. Later, silence. Know that silence is not a strategy; it’s just getting used to the previous pattern.
Because praying comforts, more people pray than meditate. It adapts to your reality. Prayer resembled psychoanalysis. They will make you less agitated, accustomed to the pattern, society, and family. You won’t get well by seeing a psychoanalyst for one, two, or three years, but you’ll adjust. Priests and prayer adapt you.
You visit a priest because your child died. “Don’t worry,” he says. Only God-loved children die young. He summons them.” You’re content. “Call up” your child. God prefers him. “Do not worry, the soul never dies,” the priest advises. Heaven has your child.”
A woman was here days earlier. Her husband died last month. She was upset. She said to me, “Just assure me that he is reborn in a good place, and everything will be okay.” Just assure me that he is in paradise, a god, or an animal. Please reassure me. Otherwise, I’m miserable.”
The priest said, “Okay!” Your husband is a joyful god in the eighth heaven. He awaits.”
These prayers help you adapt and feel better. Meditation is science. It will aid change, not adjustment. Thus, these three signs will indicate. Silence comes without adjusting. Silence will bloom within.
Silence will not adjust society, family, globe, or business! Then silence will harmonise with the universe.
Later, there is silence and a deep harmony between you and the totality. Disturbing and maddening will arrive first.
A technique that works will reveal everything about you. Your anarchy, mind, and crazy will be revealed. Dark mess. A strategy that works illuminates the whole chaos. You will finally see yourself. It’s scary, so you want to turn out the light and sleep. The master assists now. “Don’t worry,” he says. Start here. Don’t run.”
If you keep going, this light transforms you into what you can be.
In our upcoming videos we will start talking about the 120 techniques in each video. So please subscribe to our channel and follow our playlist on YouTube …
Shambho
Will make detailed content on this Anapanasati Yoga. Will share the link when it’s ready.